43 Signs You’re on a Roadtrip in South America for Way Too Long 1 comment

So you’re travelling through South America, sleeping in your car, eating in your car, loving and hating in… your car of course. You enjoy this never ending roadtrip and your vagabond life without noticing how weird creature you become so… here I’am, with my helping hand. Please read the list below to check if it’s not too late for you to back to the normal civilized life. A cozy couch and new TV won’t wait for you forever! Don’t miss your last chance!

You’re on a roadtrip in South America for too long if…

  • Cleaning dishes by toilet paper isn’t disgusting, it’s a normal thing.
  • A bowl with a cold water is a shower, cold shower (real shower) is a luxury, hot springs are luxury bath and real hot shower is your dream.
  • Suddenly you’ve started to speak Spanish (just after you’ve learned how to order a beer and bargain a price of fuel).
  • You can’t look anymore on pasta with tuna and tomato sauce.
  • Breakfast without avocado? No, thanks.
  • Clothes witch were laying in a bowl with cold water for a few hours are washed.
  • You’re using ioverlander app more often than Facebook.
  • When you’re heading back to the place when you parked your car, you use to say you’re going back home.
  • 300 km is close, 80 km/h is fast.
  • High mountains start at 5000 m.
  • You’re master of one pot dishes.
  • You tried to hug lama. At least once. And lama spit on you. At least once.
  • You eat straight from the pot to have less dishes to wash.
  • You know that coca leafs kick better with baking soda.
  • You eat lama and guinea pig meat.
  • You had an argument with local driver (at least once). To be honest, it was almost a fight.
  • You know how to wash your hair (even they’re long) in washing bowl at the gasoline station in less than 3 minutes.
  • Camping? It’s a flat piece of land covered from wind.
  • You paid at least one penalty for over speed and you bribed a policeman too.
  • You go sleep just after the sunset and get up just after the sunrise.
  • You use a horn. Often.
  • You know how to swear in Spanish, especially if you’re a driver.
  • You’re not locomotion sick anymore while reading a book during a car ride.
  • You cross the borders with forbidden items like onion or tomatoes and you don’t give a shit.
  • You can easily survive one week without contact with civilisation (shops, gasoline stations, showers) and you’re proud of it.
  • You can’t understand how it’s possible to don’t see the difference between lama and alpaca. It’s like mistake lion for a tiger!
  • Textiles in Inkas patterns are very fashionable in your opinion.
  • You like Inca Kola.
  • You truly hate speed bumps.
  • Diarrhea is not a disease and not a big deal. It just happens sometimes and you have to go through it (more run) with head up and pants down.
  • At least once you’ve found a scorpion in your shoe.
  • You’ve slept at the roof of your car.
  • You know a shaman.
  • Beer? No way! Michelada!
  • You laugh at people who confuses clawed with banana.
  • The smallest big spider is the one bigger than your hand.
  • Lamas are not a cute creatures anymore, there are stupid bloody monsters, who jump on the road to kill you.
  • But you’re still excited every time you see pink flamingos.
  • You know where you can order a frogs smoothie or body scanning by guinea pig.
  • Your car has a name.
  • You start your day with coca mate.
  • You know a dozen comfortable positions to sleep at the car front seat.
  • Same about having sex.

How much of these are about you?

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About Aleksandra

I'm a Polish full time traveler, blogger, writer and life lover. I can’t live without people and sun, don’t like to eat by fork and knife, love sports and mountains all year around and hate winter in town. I have traveled to every continent except Antarctica, have visited 40 countries and lived in 4 (so far). I wrote a book about China published by National Geographic and my writing regularly appears in travel magazines. I’m really excited to share my adventures and experiences with you and inspire you to travel, to make your wildest dreams come true and to cross the borders- especially the ones of your comfort zone.

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